Fearless Fourteen by Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martins
Why I read this: I'm hooked on the series, and I was in need of a Ranger fix.

The Crime:

Armed robbery to the tune of nine million dollars

Dom Rizzi robbed a bank, stashed the money and did the time. His family couldn't be more proud. He always was the smart one.

The Cousin:

Joe Morelli

Joe Morelli, Dom Rizzi and Dom's sister Loretta are cousins. Morelli is a cop, Rizzi robs banks, and Loretta is a single mother waiting tables at the firehouse. The all American family.

The Complications:

Murder, kidnapping, destruction of personal property, and acid reflux

Less than a week after Dom's release from prison, Joe Morelli has shadowy figures breaking into his house and dying in his basement. He's getting threatening messages, Loretta is kidnapped, and Dom is missing.

The Catastrophe:

Moonman

Morelli hires Walter "Mooner" Dunphy, stoner and "inventor" turned crime-fighter to protect his house. Morelli can't afford a lot on a cop's salary, and Mooner will work for potatoes.

The Cupcake:

Stephanie Plum

Stephanie and Morelli have a long-standing relationship that involves sex, affection and driving each other nuts. She's a bond enforcement agent with more luck than talent, and she's involved in this bank-robbery-gone-bad disaster from day one.

The Crisis:

A favor for Ranger

Security expert Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, has a job for Stephanie that will involve night-work. Morelli has his own ideas regarding Stephanie's evening activities.

The Conclusion:

Only the fearless should read fourteen

Thrills, chills and possible incontinence may result.

I admit that I went into this book with low expectations. I try to never read reviews of books I know I will read, as I hate spoilers. Big time. I did not read reviews for Fearless Fourteen, but I did read at Dear Author that several ARC negative reviews were taken down from Amazon.

Having finished Fearless Fourteen, I skimmed a bunch of reviews, and I have to say, I disagree with many of them. Big surprise there. When do I ever agree with the majority?

IMO, Stephanie has come a long way. Even though she does minimal bounty hunting in this book, she does appear to be more confidant with herself as a aprehention agent. Compared to her clumsiness in the few first books, she is almost a new person. When any of her misfit friends tag a long on a pick up, she is very take charge and alpha in work mode.

Fearless Fourteen was not as funny as the other books. I did smile a few times, mostly because of Lula and Grandma Mazur, but I did not laugh out loud.

There were equal amounts of Joe and Ranger. I continue to be on the 'Babe' team, but the 'Cupcake' side is appealing, too.

One of my all time favourite secondary Charaters in the previous books was Mooner. He was back in Fearless Fourteen, so yay for that.

I'm going to go ahead and give this one a B-. Stephanie's character has grown, and there was a fresh spin on the old formula... No one was trying to kill Steph, but she still did stumble across some dead bodies. Her car did not get blown up, but it did get a graffiti make over. Weekly dinners at the Plum house were included in Fearless Fourteen, which is good. I enjoy Mr. Plum's heavy silence, Mrs. Plum's not so hidden drinking problem, and Gradma Mazur's naive bluntness. I just wish it had been laugh out loud funny. I don't have a single funny quote to mention in my post, like I usually do when I review this series.

My review of books 1-13

One for the money

Two for the dough

Three to get deadly

Four to score

High five

Hot six

Seven up

Hard eight

To the nines

Ten big ones

Eleven on top

Twelve sharp

Lean mean thirteen

Nath has posted our chit chat of Naughty Neighbor.
Check it out :)

This is a book that I read with Nath. I'll let you know when our chat about it is posted over at Breezing Through. In mean time here is a little information about the book.

Dear Reader:

In a previous life, before the time of Plum, I wrote twelve short romance novels. Red-hot screwball comedies, each and every one of them. Nine of these stories were originally published by the Loveswept line between the years 1988 and 1992. All immediately went out of print and could be found only at used bookstores and yard sales.

I'm excited to tell you that those nine stories are now being re-released by HarperCollins. Naughty Neighbor is the eighth in the lineup, and it's presented here in almost original form. Usually when I edit these books I do some modernizing. For instance, I change VHS to DVD, and roller skates to Rollerblades, and sticks of gum are now pieces of gum. I do this because the books were meant to be contemporary (as opposed to historical), and I don't want the reader to have a time disconnect. In the beginning of the original Naughty Neighbor, my heroine throws a handheld phone into the toilet, and the next morning she goes into the bathroom and sees the "slim silver antenna caught between the toilet lid and seat." Okay, so most phones don't have extended antennas anymore, but I just loved the image . . . so I left it in. And I don't know how many women wear front-closure bras anymore, but that got left in, too.

Naughty Neighbor is probably the most romancey of all the Loveswepts I wrote, but there's still a small mystery to unravel. Louisa Brannigan is a no-nonsense, hardworking press secretary, fighting her way to the top of Capitol Hill, with no help from her annoying neighbor, Pete Streeter. He receives phone calls all night long, he steals her morning paper, he thinks jeans are formal wear, and worst of all he's involved Louisa in the disappearance of a pig. So this is the story of a pig in Witness Protection and love being found by a workaholic woman and a fun-loving man who makes terrible pots of coffee.

Enjoy!

Janet Evanovich

Synopsis:

A classic romance by a #1 "New York Times" bestselling author is now repackaged. Louisa Brannigan has her life in control--until Pete Streeter moves in next door. The infuriatingly attractive Pete wreaks havoc on Louisa's well-ordered existence, entangling her in a bizarre search for a missing pig.

Lean mean thirteen by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martins

MISTAKE #1
Dickie Orr. Stephanie was married to him for about fifteen minutes before she caught him cheating on her with her arch-nemesis Joyce Barnhardt. Another fifteen minutes after that Stephanie filed for divorce, hoping to never see either one of them again.
MISTAKE #2
Doing favors for super bounty hunter Carlos Manoso (a.k.a. Ranger). Ranger needs her to meet with Dickie and find out if he's doing something shady. Turns out, he is. Turns out, he's also back to doing Joyce Barnhardt. And it turns out Ranger's favors always come with a price...
MISTAKE #3
Going completely nutso while doing the favor for Ranger, and trying to apply bodily injury to Dickie in front of the entire office. Now Dickie has disappeared and Stephanie is the natural suspect in his disappearance. Is Dickie dead? Can he be found? And can Stephanie Plum stay one step ahead in this new, dangerous game? Joe Morelli, the hottest cop in Trenton, NJ is also keeping Stephanie on her toes-and he may know more than he's saying about many things in Stephanie's life. It's a cat-and-mouse game for Stephanie Plum, where the ultimate prize might be her life.

Stephanie Plum is back in Lean mean thirteen. I am very happy to finally be caught up in the series. I'm not sure when the next book will be out, but now I get to wait around for it with the rest of you.

My man Ranger is the reason Stephanie gets into trouble this time. He asks her to plant some bugs on her ex husband, Dickie. She ends up getting into a fight with him at his office and when he goes missing, she is the first person they suspect of hurting him.

Lean mean thirteen is very much like every other Plum novel. Not much has changed. Well, instead of her cars getting blown up, some stuffed animals get blown up. Ranger is still stealing kisses from Stephanie while she sleeps with Morelli. She still has very bad luck when it comes to being a bounty hunter, but she gets the job done.

Ranger talked a lot in this one. We learned a little bit about his childhood, and he once again makes it clear that he like and respects Morelli, but he wont hesitate to jump between Stephanie's legs should she and Joe split up. Gosh, Ranger is hot! Babe.

I wish that there had been more Lula and Grandma Mazur. Even better, more of them together!

I mentioned in a previous review that I thought Stephanie was over stepping when it came to how she acts with Ranger while she is on again with Morelli. It made me feel bad for Morelli and now I find that I like him better than I used to. Before, I would rush through scenes with Stephanie and Joe, trying to find one with Steph and Ranger. Now I happily read Joe moments. I'm still a Ranger girl at heart though.

As funny as hell, but very predictable. Janet Evanovich has written other Plum books that are predictable, but still interesting, so I know she can do it. C+. this time. I don't want the author to change the Plum formula, I like it. But I hope to see some of the older characters come back, and please please please give us some more Stephanie and Ranger sex. Please!

I also wanted to add that I love the voice of Lorelei King, who reads the Plum books on audio. It took me some time to get used to her Ranger voice, but I have really grown into it. I have only been able to get 3 or 4 of the Plum books on audio, but each time has been a great experience.

My reviews for books 1-12,

One for the money

Two for the dough

Three to get deadly

Four to score

High five

Hot six

Seven up

Hard eight

To the nines

Ten big ones

Eleven on top

Twelve sharp

Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martins

Ranger needs Stephanie for more reasons than he can say. And now, the two are working together to find a killer, rescue a missing child, and stop a lunatic from raising the body count. When Stephanie Plum and Ranger get too close for comfort, Vice Cop Joe Morelli (her on-again, off-again boyfriend) steps in.

Gosh. One more book to go before I am all caught up.
In Twelve Sharp someone has stolen Ranger's identity and kidnapped his daughter. Stephanie is helping Ranger track down the bad guy and find his little girl.

Since these moments are what keep me loving this series, here are some for your pleasure.

Stephanie's family are all talking about the new owners of Stiva's funeral parlour. They are a gay couple.

"I tell you those homosexuals are all over the place," Grandma said. "And they got all the good jobs, too. They get to be cowboys and morticians. I never wanted to be a homosexual, but I always wanted to be a cowboy. What do you think it's like to be a homosexual? Do you think their privates look different?"
"All privates look different, " I told her.
"I haven't seen too many. Mostly your grandfather's...and that wasn't a pretty sight. I wouldn't mind seeing some others. I'd like to see some minority privates and maybe some blue ones. I was listening to one of them late-night radio shows and they were talking blue balls. I thought that sounded colorful. I wouldn't mind seeing some blue balls."

Lula and Steph had gone into an adult store to bring in the woman who owns the place. Lula was able to convince Steph to buy a dildo. Ranger snooped in the bag.

He looked in the bag and let out a single soft bark of laughter. "Nice," he said
taking the dildo out, setting it on the counter, balls down, shaft up like a
giant pink rubber mushroom.
I'm not one of those women who blushes easily, but I could feel my
ears burning.
"Having problems with Morelli"? Ranger asked, the edge gone. Anger
replaced by something much softer...amusement, exhaustion, affection.

Melvin is a new character to the Plum series. He is a skip who was caught playing with his thingy (as Grandma Mazur like to call a penis) in a theater. Steph got him a job as a file clerk at the bonds office. This little tid bit happened while they were talking about what to get for lunch.

"Melvin?" Connie yelled out. "We're ordering from Pino's. Do you want
something?"
"No," Melvin said from behind the first bank of file cabinets. "I brought my lunch. I have to save money in case I go to jail. I hear if you can't afford to buy cigarettes for everyone you have to be someone's bitch."
"Is that why you didn't show up for your trial?" Lula asked. "On account of you didn't want to be someone's bitch?"
"Yeah. I know I'm a pervert and all, bit I'm not that kind of a pervert. I'm sort of a specialist. I'm like a do-it-yourself pervert."
"I hear you,"Lula said. "I've shopped in that isle".

Ranger and Stephanie spend a lot of time together in this book. A lot of alone time together. Since it takes a while for the police to figure out that the guy who stole Ranger's daughter isn't really Ranger, he is keeping a low profile. He moves in with Stephanie for a few days. One reason is to keep her safe (Because someone is always trying to kill her) Also because his safe house is being used.

Stephanie and Joe Morelli are on again in this book, and there are a few moments of tongue kissing, and a morning make out session between her and Ranger that crossed the line for me. As much as I like Ranger, I don't like that Stephanie is messing around with him on the side. I don't care when he kisses her, but when she kisses him back..thats a no no.
During the morning make out session they both end up naked, and the only thing that stopped them from having sex was the fact that Joe showed up and started banging on the door.
They weren't caught, but Joe isn't stupid. He knows that Ranger wants Stephanie. Joe ended up moved in with Stephanie as well. He says to help keep an eye on her. I think to keep an eye on her and Ranger.

In this next quote Stephanie is getting ready to go out in public to hopefully lure the bad guy out. Steph has been wearing a panic button.

Ranger had the panic button in his hand, and he was looking my dress over. If we'd been alone, he would have slipped in into my cleavage, but Morelli was watching with his hand on his gun.
"Oh, for God's sake,"I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my super sexy Miracle Bra.
"GPS," Ranger said to Morelli.
"Probably I can find her breast without it," MOrelli said. "But it's good to know there is a navigational system on board if I need it."
I saw Ranger's mouth twitch, and I was pretty sure it was a smile. I wasn't sure what the smile meant. First guess would be he was thinking he has no problem finding my breast without the GPS either.

I liked this one very much, but I am wondering about one thing though. In book 11 Stephanie wanted out of being a bounty hunter. She went off to work for Ranger, and now in book 12 she is working for Vinnie again. There was no explanation as to why she wanted her old job back. I like that she is back to working in this job. A little explination about it would have been nice though.

Anyway, Twelve Sharp is an A for me. Joe is starting to grow on me. I didn't care too much for him in the first 11 books, but now I am starting to feel sorry for him.


Read the books in order, they are..
One for the money
Two for the dough
Three to get deadly
Four to score
High five
Hot six
Seven up
Hard eight
To the nines
Ten big ones
Eleven on top

Eleven on top by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martins

Stephanie Plum is thinking her career as a fugitive apprehension agent has run its course. She's been shot at, spat at, cussed at, fire-bombed, mooned, and attacked by dogs. Time for a change, Stephanie thinks. Time to find the kind of job her mother can tell her friends about without making the sign of the cross. So Stephanie Plum quits. Resigns. No looking back. No changing her mind. She wantssomething safe and normal. As it turns out, jobs that are safe and normal for most people aren't necessarily safe and normal for Stephanie Plum. Trouble follows her, and the kind of trouble she had at the bail bonds office can't compare to the kind of trouble she finds herself facing now. Her past has come back to haunt her. She's stalked by a maniac returned from the grave for the
sole purpose of putting her into a burial plot of her own. He's killed before, and he'll kill again if given the chance. Caught between staying far away from the bounty hunter business and staying alive, Stephanie reexamines her life and the possibility that being a bounty hunter is the solution rather than the problem. After disturbingly brief careers at the button factory, Kan Klean Dry Cleaners, and Cluck-in-a-Bucket, Stephanie takes an office position in security, working for Ranger, the sexiest, baddest bounty hunter and businessman on two continents. It might not be the job she'll keep for the rest of her life, but for now it gives her the technical access she needs to find her stalker. Tempers and temperatures rise as competition ratchets up between the two men in her life---her on-again, off-again boyfriend, tough Trenton cop Joe Morelli, and her bad-ass boss, Ranger. Can Stephanie Plum take the heat? Can you?

Lots of Ranger in this one. Oh yeah!

Stephanie has had it with being a bounty hunter. She quits working for Vinnie, and tries working a nice normal job. She bombs at them all. Finally, she settles on working for Ranger. Ah, such a hard ship that is. Not!

Joe (who Steph is on again with) isn't too keen on Steph working for Ranger, but he deals with it. He knows that he can't tell Stephanie what to do. Every time he tires, she just breaks up with him.

Ranger puts Steph to work doing background checks on people. She gets to sit in front of a computer all day. Boring, yet interesting because Ranger has some kick ass search engines that can dig way deep into any ones background.

Even though Stephanie is no longer hunting fugitives, she is still getting into trouble.

Someone from the past is stalking her and she uses Rangers computer to try and find out more about her stalker.

Grandma Bella is back to harassing Stephanie about living in sin with Joe. My favourite moment in the book is when Grandma Mazur and Bella get into a fight at a funeral.

Since Ranger took center stage throughout most of the book I was expecting there to be lots of sexual tension, but I felt very little of it. Also, There was not as much Lula as I would have liked.

I'm giving Eleven on top a C+ because I like Stephanie as a bounty hunter, and even though she is spending lots of time with Ranger, there is not enough kissy face going on. Yah, yah she is with Morelli right now. I still like Ranger better :P

This was an audio version narrated by Lorelei King. I'm new to audio books, but I liked listening to her. Her Ranger voice wasn't at all what I pictured Ranger sounding like, but she got Lula, Grandma Mazur and Joe spot on.

One for the money

Two for the dough

Three to get deadly

Four to score

High five

Hot six

Seven up

Hard eight

To the nines

Ten big ones

Ten big ones by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martins

Grade: A

It begins as an innocent trip to the deli-mart, on a quest for nachos. But Stephanie Plum and her partner, Lula, are clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time. A robbery leads to an explosion, which leads to the destruction of yet another car. It would be just another day in the life of Stephanie Plum...except that she becomes the target of a gang. And the target of an even scarier, more dangerous force that comes to Trenton. With super bounty hunter Ranger acting more mysteriously than ever (and the tension with vice cop Joe Morelli getting hotter), Stephanie finds herself with a decision to make: how to protect herself and where to hide while on the hunt for a killer known as the Junkman. There's only one safe place, and it has Ranger's name all over it-if she can find it. And if the Junkman doesn't find her first. With Lula riding shotgun and Grandma Mazur on the loose, Stephanie Plum is racing against the clock in her most suspenseful novel yet. Ten Big Ones is page-turning entertainment and Janet Evanovich is the best there is.

I read through book 10 very fast. Stephanie is witness to a crime. She saw a gang member rob a store, and then she ran over the leader of the gang. A hitman is working with the gang to kill Stephanie. At first she isn't worried because there is always someone trying to kill her, but then she finds out that the other people on his hit list have all been taken out in painful ways. Steph is still living with Morelli at this point, and after Joe's house and Steph's car got spray painted full of threats towards Stephanie, Joe tries again to make Stephanie quit her job. They get into a fight, and Steph decides to move out.

Ranger had gone out of town a day or so earlier, giving Stephanie permission to use one of his vehicles. After she gets behind the wheel she plays around with the GPS system, and finds a route back to 'home'. Thinking that she has found the Bat Cave (What they all call Rangers place, because no one has ever seen it) Stephanie is very excited.

She makes her way to a building with 7 floors, and the top floor being one big apt. Since Ranger is out of town, and she needs a safe place to stay, she decides to hide out there.

For days, Stephanie gets to sleep Rangers bed, under Rangers sheets, using Rangers shower gel, and she even gets to wear his clothes! Lucky bitch.

Once Ranger comes back she finds out that it's not really the Bat Cave after all. It's just a building that Ranger owns for his security business. He keeps the apt to sleep in becuase he spends so much time there.

Oh yeah, Ranger isn't at all upset find Stephanie sleeping in his bed when he comes back.

Like the other Plum books, this one has many laugh out loud moments. My absolute favourite happens after Connie (the admin person for Steph work) and Lula (Steph's side kick) kidnap a gang member to find out why the hitman is after Stephanie. They plan to tie him to a chair and beat the answers out of him. Well, when it comes time to do the actual beating they can't do it. Connie is able to lightly slap him across the face, and then Lula stick a pin between 2 toes. After the pin thing, Lula faints, and Connie throws up. They weren't getting any answers that way, lol.

Steph does end up getting her answers after she lets Ranger talk to the gang member. They are told that the hitman plans to pass Stephanie around to all the gang member before doing her himself. Stephanie is pretty sickened at the idea of being gang raped. Ranger isn't too pleased with the news and tries to force Stephanie to stay at his apt. He even instructs his buddies who work for him to stun gun her if she tries to leave.

A few stolen kisses from Ranger, laughs from Granda Mazur, and an unlikely hero (Sally Sweet) saving the day makes Ten big ones, my favourite book out of the series so far.

In order the books in the series are

One for the money

Two for the dough

Three to get deadly

Four to score

High five

Hot six

Seven up

Hard eight

To the nines

To the nines by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martins

Grade: B

Stephanie Plum may not the best bounty hunter in beautiful downtown Trenton, but she's pretty darn good at turning bad situations her way... and she always gets her man. In TO THE NINES her cousin Vinnie (who's also her boss) has posted bail on Samuel Singh, an illegal immigrant. When the elusive Mr. Singh goes missing,
Stephanie is on the case. But what she uncovers is far more sinister than anyone imagines and leads to a group of killers who give new meaning to the word "hunter... " In a race against time that takes her from the Jersey Turnpike to the Vegas strip, Stephanie Plum is on the chase of her life.

There is a really good ebb and flow with series. Even though I am finding the books repetitive, I'm still totally addicted.

In To the nines, Ranger and Stephanie are trying to bring in Singh. A man who is missing, and has been provided with a visa bond. Steph still isn't very good at being a bounty hunter, so she gets into lots of trouble.

There is no less drama on the family front. Val, Steph's sister, is nine months pregnant. The baby daddy is the silly lawyer from Hard eight.

Here are a few of my favourite Ranger moments.

While talking about the case..

"The dog could be a coincidence"
"I don't think so. My Spidey sense tells me the disappearances are
related"
Ranger grinned at me. "Your spidey sense tell you anything else?"
"Is that a mocking grin?"
"it's the grin of a man who loves you, babe."
My heart skipped around a little and I got warm in places only Morelli
should be warming. "Love?"
"There's all kinds of love," Ranger said. "This kind doesn't come with a
ring attached."
"Nice, but you avoided my question about the mocking grin."
He gave my ponytail a playful tug.

Steph and Ranger go to a restaurant that sells good pie. Steph orders her pie, but Ranger only orders a coffee..

"Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the formica table top. "Coffee? I
thought we came here for pie?"
"I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here."
I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of
pie that Ranger liked.

Steph gets a haircut. A really short type of pixie cut..

When we were back in the car I turned to Ranger. "Is it really cute, or
were you just trying to keep me from shrieking?"
He ran a hand through my hair. "It's sexy," he said. And he kissed me.
Tongue and everything.
"Hey," I said. "We're not supposed to be doing that."
A smiled hovered over the edge of his mouth. "Morelli told me you were all
mine today".
"That was a figure of speech. He trusts us."
Ranger turned the key in the ignition. "He trusts you. I haven't
signed on to the trust me program."
"How about me? Can I trust you?"
"Are we talking about your life or your body?"
I already knew the answer so I moved on.

Here is a little excerpt from a dinner at Stephs parents house. Kloughn (Val's baby daddy) was talking about how much gravy Val was eating..

Valerie glanced sideways at Kloughn. "You're not going to lecture me on my
diet, are you?"
Kloughn sat up straight in his seat, eyes wide and birdlike. "Me, no. Honest. I wouldn't do anything like that. I like fat women. Just the other day I was thinking how fat women were soft. Nothing I like better than big, soft, squishy pillows of fat."
He was nodding his balding head, trying hard, running down dark roads of
panic. "Look at me. I'm nice and fat, too. I'm like the Doughboy. Go ahead, poke
my stomach. I'm just like the Doughboy," Kloughn said.
"Omigod," my sister wailed. "You think I'm fat."
She went into open mouthed sobbing and the plate slid from her stomach and
crashed onto the floor.
Kloughn bent to retrieve the plate and farted. "That wasn't me, "he
said.
"Maybe it was me," Grandma said. "Sometimes they sneak out. Did I fart?" she
asked everyone.

Here is a moment with Joe Morelli. He is not happy that Steph is again in danger..

"I hate this,"Morelli said. "Why can't I have a girlfriend who has normal
problems... like breaking a fingernail or missing a period or falling in love
with a lesbian?"

Bob the dog is still around. I like him. Since someone is trying to kill steph she has moved in with Joe (again) She takes Bob out for a walk..

Lesson number one when cohabiting with a man and a dog: Never be the first
to arrive home.
I went to he backyard, got the snow shovel to flip the poop into the
street. Then I sat on the stoop and waited for a car to run over the poop. Two
cars drove by, but both of them avoided the poop. I gave a sigh of resignation,
went into the kitchen, got a plastic baggie, scooped the poop up off the street,
and threw it in the garbage. Sometimes you just can't catch a break.

This next excerpt is from after Val baby is born. Valeria is breastfeeding baby Lisa, looking all cute and sweet..

And just like that, as of that instant, I wanted a baby.
I didn't care if it had to come out of my vagina.

Joe and Steph are 'on again' in this one, but she spends so much time with Ranger because he is acting as her body guard. He did have two of his team watching her, but one got his leg broken, and the other fainted after he saw baby Lisa's foot coming out of the birth canal. Poor guys.

So, when Steph wasn't with Joe she was with Ranger. Lucky girl.

In order the books are,

One for the money
Two for the dough
Three to get deadly
Four to score
High five
Hot six
Seven up
Hard eight

Hard eight by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martin's

Grade: C

Fugitive Apprehension Agent Stephanie Plum has a big problem on her hands:
Seven-year-old Annie Soder and her mother, Evelyn, have disappeared. Evelyn's estranged husband, Steven, a shady owner of a seedy bar, is not at all happy. During the divorce proceedings, he and Evelyn signed a child custody bond, and Steven is demanding the money guaranteed by the bond to find Annie. The money
was secured by a mortgage on Evelyn's grandmother's house, and the True Blue Bonds Bail Agency wants to take possession of the house.
Finding a kidnapped child is not an assignment for a bounty hunter. But Evelyn's grandmother lives next door to Stephanie's parents, and Stephanie's mother and grandmother are not about to see their neighbor lose her house because of abduction.
Even though Stephanie's plate is full with miscreants who missed their court dates,
including old nemesis and violent drunk Andy Bender and an elusive little old
lady accused of grand theft auto, she can't disappoint Grandma Mazur! So she
follows the trail left by Annie and Evelyn-- and finds a lot more than she
bargained for. Steven is somehow linked with a very scary Eddie Abruzzi. Trenton
cop and on-again, off-again fiancé Joe Morelli and Stephanie's mentor and
tormentor, Ranger, warn Stephanie about Abruzzi, but it's Abruzzi's eyes and
mannerisms that frighten Stephanie the most. Stephanie needs Ranger's savvy and
expertise, and she's willing to accept his help to find Annie even though it
might mean becoming too involved with Ranger.
Stephanie, Ranger, Lula (who's not going to miss riding with Ranger), and Evelyn's lawyer/laundromat manager set out to find Annie. The search turns out to be a race among Stephanie's posse, the True Blue Bonds' agent, a Rangerette known as Jeanne Ellen Burrows, and the Abruzzi crew. Not to mention the fact that there's a killer rabbit on the loose!

I read through this book super fast. Mostly because I wanted to see Ranger and Stephanie have sex. I have to admit that it was pretty anti climatic. I expected something more..maybe of recap of Ranger having to save Stephanie again after she gets handcuffed naked to the shower rod. Now that would have been cool. If anyone could have pulled off that position, Ranger is the man.

I like how it was made very clear that Joe and Stephanie were totally over before she slept with Ranger. I don't have the book in front of me (because I 'stole' it off the holds shelf at the library, I had to return it ASAP) but, I remember Stephanie trying to talk to Joe about their relationship and he said something along the lines of "There is a you, there is a me, but there is no us."

Unfortunately, I found that the laughs were lacking in Hard Eight. Maybe it needed a little bit more Lula and Grandma Mazur.

There was a killer rabbit..okay, a man dressed up a rabbit suit, who is making Stephs life hell. He tries to kidnap her, and Stephanie's mom runs him over with her car. That scene should have been hilarious. Instead, it was kinda sad.

There is the introduction of a new character who I hope makes an appearance in future books. He is a lawyer who talks a lot, and is starting to date Steph's sister. He is cute and ditzy, and I want to see him again.

My favourite part of the book is the very end. Ranger kills someone for Stephanie. Oh, be still my heart! Some bad dude had kidnapped Stephanie and her sister. They got away (beaten and bruised) And Ranger goes off and kills the guy. Awesome!

My previous reviews of the series

One for the money

Two for the dough

Three to get deadly

Four to score

High five

Hot six

Seven up

Seven Up by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martin's Press

Grade: A

All New Jersey bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has to do is bring in
semi-retired bail jumper Eddie DeChooch. For an old man he's still got a knack for slipping out of sight--and raising hell. How else can Stephanie explain the bullet-riddled corpse in Eddie's garden? Who else would have a clue as to why two of Stephanie's friends suddenly vanished? For answers Stephanie has the devil to pay: her mentor, Ranger. The deal? He'll give Stephanie all the help she needs--if she gives him everything he wants . . .
As if things weren't complicated enough, Stephanie's just discovered her Grandma Mazur's own unmentionable alliance with Eddie. Add a series of unnerving break-ins, not to mention the bombshell revelation leveled by Stephanie's estranged sister, and
Stephanie's ready for some good news. Unfortunately, a marriage proposal from
Joe Morelli, the love of her life, isn't quite cutting it. And now--murder, a randy paramour, a wily mobster, death threats, extortion, and a triplie kidnapping aside--Stephanie's really got the urge to run for her life . .

Boy, do I ever love this series. So far, out of the 7 that I have read, there has only been one that I wasn't all in love with. Thats a pretty good track record.

In Seven Up, Stephanie is searching for a senior citizen with depression, who likes to shoot at people. He is the sometimes boyfriend of Grandma Mazur, but seeing as he can't get it up, she doesn't want to much to do with him. Ah, I love that Grandma Mazur.

There has been a lot of marriage talk between Joe & Stephanie, but it's always during sex, so Stephanie isn't taking the talk too seriously. Stephanie's mother is pushing for a wedding, and even has Stephanie trying on wedding gowns. However, Joe hates that Stephanie is a bounty Hunter, and he tells her to pick him, or her job. She says that she wont marry someone who gives her ultimatums. He storms out, and their relationship is off again.

Ranger is still around. Yummy man that he is. He wants to bang Stephanie and he doesn't care if she isn't 100% free. Stephanie asks for his help to bring in the current big skip, and he tells her that he will help her, but she has to spend the night with him as payment. Ohhh, lucky girl. The end of the book is a cliff hanger. He shows up at her place in the middle of the night. Here is what teased me on the last page

He stepped into the open doorway to my bedroom and knocked softly on the
jamb. "Are you awake?"
"I am now. You scared the hell out of me"
It was Ranger.
"I want to see you," he said. "Do you have a night-light?"
"In the bathroom"
He got the light from the bathroom and plugged it into a baseboard in my
bedroom. It didn't give off much light, but it was enough to see him
clearly.
"So," I said, mentally cracking my knuckles.
"What's going on? Is DeChooch okay?"
Ranger removed his gun belt and dropped it on the floor. "Dechooch is fine,
but we have unfinished business."

Gosh! I can't wait to read the next book. They better have had sex. I have been waiting since book one for the two of them to knock boots.

So many things had me laughing out loud (as usual when I read this series)

Bob the dog is still around, and Stephanie has him do his business on Joyce's lawn.

Stephanies sister decide that since her husband left her for their 18 year old babysitter, that it would be a good time to become a lesbian. She also invites her first female date to the house, and of course, that sends Stephanies mother into a frenzy.

Lula and Stephanie get into a mud wrestling match, and after one wrestlers g-sting gets pulled off, Stephanies sister says,

"There was something wrong with that Animal person," Valerie said. "When you
ripped her pants off, she was bald down there."

Surprisingly, Stephanie does not kill any vehicles in this book, but she does find one dead body. Her apartment is still getting broken into on a regular basis, and it's starting to get old.

The cliff hanger ending isn't all that annoying this time. I guess it's because the book was so enjoyable, that I can't let the ending bother me. The fact that Ranger is in her bedroom at all is good enough for me. For now.

Hot six by Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martin's Press
Grade:A

Bounty hunter Stephanie Plum and Trenton vice cop Joe Morelli join forces to find the madman killer who shot and barbecued the youngest son of international black-market arms dealer Alexander Ramos. Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, is caught on video just minutes before the crime occurs. He's at the scene, he's with the victim, and he's the number one suspect. Manoso is former Special Forces turned soldier of fortune. He has a blue-chip stock portfolio and no known address. He moves in mysterious circles. He's
Stephanie's mentor-- the man who taught her everything she knows about fugitive
apprehension. And he's more than her friend.
Now he's the hunted and Stephanie's the hunter, and it's time for Stephanie to test her skills against the master. But if she does catch him. . . what then? Can she bring
herself to turn him in? Plus there are other things keeping Stephanie awake at
night. Her maternal grandmother has set up housekeeping in Stephanie's
apartment, a homicidal maniac has selected Stephanie as his next victim, her
love life is in the toilet, she's adopted a dog with an eating disorder, and she
can't button the top snap on her Levis.

If you read my review for the last Plum book, you'll know that I gave it the lowest mark in the series so far. I was nervous to start Hot Six, because I thought that maybe, it would be a let down, too. It wasn't though!
The laughs were as good as the first book, and the story line was entertaining.

Ranger is the big skip that needs to be brought in. Vinnie tries to give the file to Steph, but she refuses it. Instead, the file goes to Joyce, who we all know is the slut bag ho' who banged Stephani's Ex husband on the dining room table.

Even though Ranger is wanted by the police, Stephanie doesn't lift a finger to bring him in. In fact, she teams up with him to help him find out who the real killer is.

The last book had a cliff hanger ending. As much as I wanted the mystery man to be Ranger, I knew that it was Joe. No worries though, because we see a lot more of Ranger than we do Joe in this one.

So many things had me grinning ear to ear and LOL'ing. Stephanie and Lula stealing dog poop from a lady at the park, Steph and Lula taking down a naked guy. Stephanie's pimple problem! Every time someone said anything to her about it I started to laugh.

The best part was all those midnight visits from Ranger. All those kisses from him, too!! Every time he calls her 'Babe' *I* get tingles.

How can you not love a book that has Steph and Ranger rolling around on the floor with his hand up her top. Oh, yeah.

Grandma Mazur learning how to drive. Stephanie's new dog barfing and crapping in the car of some bad guys trying to steal him. There are so many funny moments in Hot Six!

Read my reviews of books one through five.

High Five by Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martins
Grade: C+

Bail jumping in Trenton is down to small potatoes. Stephanie's only open case is a small bond for a small violation, committed by a small person who raises Stephanie's frustration level in big ways. So short of money and long on bills, Stephanie comes up with a plan --diversify! Signing on as an intern with entrepreneurial Super Bounty Hunter Ranger, Stephanie ventures into Ranger's mostly morally correct and marginally legal operations. None of this makes vice cop Joe Morelli a happy man. The cop in him can't help but wonder as to the
source of Stephanie's expensive new cars. And the rest of him, the man who's
been friend and lover to Stephanie, can't help but wonder if there's more to the
partnership than meets the eye.
The internship is downgraded to second
priority when Uncle Fred goes missing. Even though Grandma Mazur is sure he was
abducted by aliens, Stephanie sets out to look for Fred. He's a perfectly
average senior citizen, and he's disappeared without a trace while running
errands. He's left his ten-year-old Pontiac station wagon locked up nice and
neat in the Grand Union parking lot, the cleaning is carefully arranged on the
back seat, and his wife is at home, waiting for him to return with the bread and
the milk and the olive loaf bologna. Locked in the top drawer of his desk are
photos of a body, dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag. And locked away in
the computer files of a another average citizen are the clues that will lead
Stephanie to Fred.

I wasn't as impressed with this fifth book in the series, as I was with the others. It was comical, but I skimmed some of it.

Stephanie is looking for a relative, Uncle Fred. There is some money laundering going on and she interviews a lot of people. Those are the parts I skimmed. They were kinda boring.

There were lots of Ranger scenes, and thats what kept me flipping the pages. I lurve Ranger.
He flirts with Stephanie a few times, and even those it;s subtle, you know what he wants. He also gives her a few cars. The first one gets blown up and the second one gets stolen. Ranger even kisses her. *swoon*. He tells her that the ball is in her court.
Take it Stephanie. TAKE THE BALL.

Grandma Mazur, Joe, and Lula are back. Granny is still visiting funeral homes and driving Stephanie's dad bonkers. Lula still has her job as a filing clerk at the bail bonds office. Her wit gets better with each book. Joe is once again trying to get Stephanie into bed. He says he loves her, but he isn't into marriage. Stephanie doesn't want a relationship that is just sex.

The crazy homicidal rapist from the first book is back in this one. He went and found Jesus when he was in prison, so now he is crazier than ever. He wants Stephanie to meet Jesus, but he plans to send her to Him in his own special way.

My favorite new character in the book is Randy. He is a littler person who Stephanie was supposed to take in. He ends up getting out on bail (again) and decides that he is going to stay with Stephanie. She broke his door down the first time she brought him in, so he thinks she owes him. He makes himself at home in her place.

Stephanie seems to have lost her backbone in this book. The laugh out loud scenes were not as plentiful as they were in previous books.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike cliff hanger endings? I don't like them. Not at all.
At the end of this one, Stephanie decides she wants some loving between the sheets. She gets dressed up as sexy as can be and call one of the men to come over. We don't know if it's Joe or Ranger though. I want it to be Ranger. The way he talked in the last scene makes it sound like Ranger, so that means it's probably Joe.

I have book 6 sitting right in front of me, so I guess I'll find out soon enough.

You can read my reviews for the first four books here.

Four to score by Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martins press
Grade: A

Working for her bailbondsman cousin, Vinnie, Stephanie is hot on the trail of
revenge-seeking waitress Maxine Nowicki, whose crimes include bail jumping,
theft, and extortion. Someone is terrifying Maxine's friends, and those who have
seen her are turning up dead. Also on the hunt for Maxine is Joyce Barnhardt,
Stephanie's archenemy and rival bounty hunter. Stephanie's attitude never wavers
- even when aided by Grandma Mazur, ex-hooker and wannabe bounty hunter Lula,
and transvestite rock musician Sally Sweet - and even when Stephanie makes an
enemy whose deadly tactics escalate from threatening messages to firebombs. All
of this pales in comparison, though, with an even greater danger Stephanie
faces, when, homeless and broke, she and her hamster Rex move in with vice cop
Joe Morelli.

Another very entertaining Stephanie Plum novel. This time Stephanie is looking for Maxine, a waitress who has jumped bail. Along with Lula, Grandma Mazur and now their new friend, Sally Sweet, they go through the motions of trying to find Maxine. Meanwhile, cars & apartments are being blown up. Someone is accusing Stephanie of being a boyfriend stealer, and Stephanie has competition from her most hated enemy.

I decided to jot down some of the funnier moments. By the end of the book I had so many parts marked off that there is no way I can include them all. Here is just a sample of the laughs.

Stephanie comes home and runs into a elderly neighbor who is complaining about the heat.

Mr. Landowsky was eighty-two and somehow his chest had shrunk over the years,
and now he was forced to hike his pants up under his armpits.
"Oi," he said.
"This heat! I can't breath. Somebody should do something."
I assumed he was talking about God.
"That weatherman on the morning news. He should be shot. How can I go out in weather like this? And then when it gets so hot they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs."
I was glad I owned a gun, because when I got as old as Mr. Landowsky I was going
to eat a bullet. The first time I got the runs in the supermarket, that was it.
BANG! It would all be over.

Next, the boyfriend of the skip got invited to dinner at Stephanie's parents house by Grandma Mazure. Steph tells her mom how creepy the guy is, then....

My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it
on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked up and put it on the edge of
the plate. "There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick."

This next scene is with my favourite gal, Lula. See, Joyce has been following Stephanie and after Steph tell Lula about it Lula decides to fix the problem.

"I can't work like this, " I said. "She's in my way. She's following me around"
"I can fix that," Lula said. "Where is she? I'll go talk to her."
"She's in the black Cherokee, but I don't think thats a good idea."
"Don't worry about nothing, " Lula said, swinging through the door. "I'll be real diplomatic. You wait here."
Lula, diplomatic?
"Lula, "I yelled. "Come back here. I'll take care of Joyce Barnhardt."
Lula reached the car and was standing by the curbside rear quarter panel. "This the one?" she called to me.
"Yes but..."
Lula pulled a gun out from under her T-shirt and-BANG! She blew a cantaloupe-sized hole in Joyce's back tire. She had the gun back under her shirt by the time Joyce got out of her car. Joyce saw the tire and her mouth dropped open.
"Did you see that?" Lula asked Joyce. "A guy came up here and
shot up your tire. And then fast as anything, he ran away. I don't know what
this world is coming to."

In this next quote, Lula and Steph are talking to the guy who ate the dirty chicken from the kitchen floor.

Lula was standing behind me on Kuntz's porch. "Probably just another dumb-assed
note taped to the bottom of that bench. Think you should stop your whinning,"
she said to Kuntz, "on account of it makes you look like a wiener. And with a
name like Kuntz you gotta be careful what you look like."

This next scene isn't what I would call funny, but I include it because I love Ranger. I'd be happy to see Steph and Ranger hook up. I'd be happy to see a Stephanie sandwich with Joe on top and Ranger on the bottom.

"She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight."
"how'd you get her to leave?"
"told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for other men, an so she might as well go home."
I could feel the heat rush to my face.
Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he
said.

In this book Stephanie gets help from Sally Sweet, a drag queen musician. Grandma is meeting him for the first time here.

Sally tugged at his dress. "I'm disguised as Sheba."
"Girlfriend, " Lula said to him, "You are the shit."
"Sally's a drag queen," I explained to Grandma.
"No kidding," Grandma said. "I always wanted to meet a drag queen. I
always wanted to know what you do with your dingdong when you wear girl's
clothes."
"You're supposed to wear special underpants that tuck you under."
We all looked down at the crotch-level bulge in the front of Sally's dress.
"So sue me," Sally said. "They give me a rash."

Any sort of dialogue with Grandma Mazur and Lula is going to be good.

"I always wanted to eat with a negro," Grandma said.
"Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good."
Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing.
"Bitchin'" said Grandma.

Those are just some of the hilarious moments that had me peeing my pants.
The best thing is that Joe and Stephanie finally 'do it'.
I wish there was a bit more of Ranger though. I really like him.

My reviews of
One for the money
Two for the dough
Three to get deadly

Three to get deadly by Janet Evanovich

Published by St. Martins
Grade: A-

Bounty-hunter Stephanie Plum has to track down Mo, the local candy store
owner who has jumped bail. Nobody will believe that Mo has done anything wrong,
but Stephanie - with the help of big blonde Lula and good cop/bad cop Joe
Morelli - soon discovers that Mo has more than candy in his basement.

The laughs were back with book 3. Oh how I love that Lula. She reminds me so much of me. Er, minus the part about being a black overweight ex hooker. Other than that she and I click.

This time Stephanie is after candy store owner, Uncle Mo. He missed his court after being arrested for having a concealed weapon, and Stephanie is sent to get him. It's supposed to be a nice easy pick up, except Uncle Mo has vanished, and people are showing up dead all over the place.

Stephanie and Joe almost have sex again. Almost. It's interrupted when bad guys make some noise outside, and then Steph barfs on Joe. Hehe.

A laugh out loud hilarious book. Between Lula calling Uncle Mo 'Old Penis Nose', Grandma Mazur's date with a glass eye who take his teeth out to eat, and Steph having the worst luck in the world I was splitting a gut!

Read my reviews of books one and two.

Two for the dough, by Janet Evanovich
Published by
Grade: B-

About the book:

Stephanie's back, armed with attitude -- not to mention stun guns, defense
sprays, killer flashlights, and her trusty .38. Stephanie is after a new bail
jumper, Kenny Mancuso, a boy from Trenton's burg. He's fresh out of the army,
suspiciously wealthy, and he's just shot his best friend.

I reviewed the first first book of this series here, and gave it an A. I think the problem for me is that this one was not as funny as the first. One for the money had me peeing my pants, it was so funny. This time the only funnies were from Grandma Mazur and Stephanie's mom. Plus I really wanted Joe and Stephanie to bang. They came close, but no cigar.

In this book Stephanie is after a guy who shot his best friend. Kenny, the bad guy, has jumped bail. With help from Joe and Grandma, Stephanie is on the job.

Our girl still can't keep out of trouble. She gets into a fight with the slut who her ex husband cheated with, her apt is vandalised (again) She is sent a penis in the mail. Oh, Granny and Mrs. Plum were funny when that happened! Stephanie still sucks as a bounty hunter, but she gets help from Ranger, and of course, Joe is always there sticking his nose in things.

I didn't like how Kenny attacked Grandma Mazur, not once but twice! I can't handle it when old people are abused. It really bothers me. I agree that it was fitting for someone close to Stephanie to suffer some sort of backlash because of her job. I just wish it had been written differently.

Overall, still a great read and I wont wait long before I devour the rest of the Plum books.

One for the money, By Janet Evanovich
Published by St. Martin's Press
Grade: A

About the book:

Welcome to colorful Trenton, New Jersey, and the wild and wonderful world of
Stephanie Plum. In One for the Money, rookie "apprehension agent" Plum may be a
bit wet behind the ears, but nobody's gonna take it easy on her; especially her
first skip, an ex-cop and murder suspect named Morelli.

I read this book on the recommendation of the gals at SF.
It was laugh out loud funny. By the end of chapter one I had broken out into laughter at least three times. There have been a lot of books that are supposed to be funny, but this is is truly funny. I was reading it while waiting for my son to get out Karate class, and when I kept laughing one of the other parents wanted to know what was so funny.

Stephanie Plum is a down on her luck. She lost her job and she has no money. She blackmails her cousin into giving her a job as a bounty hunter. With her first assignment she has to bring in Joe. A cop on the run and wanted for murder. He is also the guy she gave her virginity to. She later ran him over with her car because he didn't bother to call her after taking her on the floor of her father's bakery.

Stephanie's Grandma should have her own book. She is a hoot! I loved every scene that was she was in. If this was a movie, she would have stolen every scene, and won an Oscar for it.

I got the 2'nd and 3'rd book for this series, but Ames told me not to read them one right after the other. How do I work this? Read one from the series a month, or just put a few books between them? Hehe.