Too Far Gone by Marliss Melton
Why I read this: Nath review it on her blog and even though she didn't like it I thought that I would like it, so she sent it to me.

Ellie Stuart's life ended the day her children were stolen from her. Driving on a Virginia backroad, Ellie was ambushed by two men who violently pulled her from her car and drove off with her three sons inside. Devastated, Ellie begs the police to bring her babies home. But the authorities wonder if this stressed-out single mom may not be telling the whole truth about what happened that day...

Navy SEAL Sean Harlan agrees to help Ellie find her children, but vows to keep their relationship professional. He's got no room in his life for a woman and her kids--no matter how beautiful she is, or how desperate their situation. But when a sinister organization begins pulling strings behind the scenes, the investigation suddenly targets Sean. Can he and Ellie rescue her children and save themselves? Or are they already...

Three words--Nath was right.
First off, the blurb is misleading. The way it's written makes it sound like she asks him for help, or that he didn't know her before the kids were taken.
A few things; She never asks for his helps. He volunteers, both before and after the kidnapping, to care for the kids. Sean spoils them them toys, games and outings. Once they are kidnapped he is livid and goes out of his way to get them back.

If you look up the word 'inconsistent' in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Sean. (who does not sound at all attractive by the description of him.) He is extremely attracted to Ellie, but over and over again we hear about how he does not date women with children. Then why does he hang around so much? It doesn't make sense that he wont date a mommy because of her kids, but he will still get attached to the kids of someone he is lusting over.
An explanation about that would have been nice, but the author didn't give us one.

Ellie was not an easy character to relate to. As a mother I tend to get emotionaly involved when children are hurt in books. The feeling that come off the pages usually go right to my heart, but that was not the case with Gone Too Far. Anytime Ellie showed grief about her kidnapped sons it rolled off my shoulders. Something was missing, not once did I feel anything for the charaters that would allow me to realate to them.

Romantic Suspense books are a favourite of mine, but this time I could have done without the romance. The sex scenes were misplaced and felt awkward. Almost as if they were thrown in because they had to appear somewhere.

As much as I wanted to like Gone Too Far, and as as much as I thought I would enjoy it, I did not. It's a D book. Everything that one looks for in a romance was missing. Everything one looks for in a good Hero and/or Heroine was missing. IMO, of course.

The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E Woodiwiss
Published by Avon books
Why I read this: I heard so much about it being one of the best historicals ever.

The Flower

Doomed to a life of unending toil, Heather Simmons fears for her innocence €”until a shocking, desperate act forces her to flee. . . and to seek refuge in the arms of a virile and dangerous stranger.

The Flame

A lusty adventurer married to the sea, Captain Brandon Birmingham courts scorn and peril when he abducts the beautiful fugitive from the tumultuous London dockside. But no power on Earth can compel him to relinquish his exquisite prize. For he is determined to make the sapphire-eyed lovely his woman. . . and to carry her off to far, uncharted realms of sensuous, passionate love.

This was supposed to be the ground breaking historical of it's time? Why? What is so great about it?

Aside from the fact that the so called hero rapes the heroine--yah, I get that rape was common back then. That's still not an excuse to have the HERO rape the heroine in a *romance*. If it was that common then all historicals would have a rapist hero. And since I'm on the topic, I have heard people say that most historicals from the 70's or early 80's had a rapist Hero. Uh no! I have read tons of historicals written back then, and the rapes by hero are far and few between. In fact, I can only count 3.. This one being number 4.

Not sure why or how Heather fell in love with Brandon. He wasn't kind to her. He was only nice to her after she almost died from fever, and then again at the end when he told her he loved her.

Heather hated and feared Brandon, then as soon as he is forced into marrying her, she is all of sudden getting these warm fuzzies. Weird. I don't understand it. What did she see in him?

It bothers me that the rape scenes were a page long, and then when they finally have consensual sex, it lasted less than a paragraph in length.

I felt no connection to either of the main characters, and the only one in the book I have any interest in at all is Brandon's brother.

The classic, oh so popular, The Flame and the Flower, gets a D from me. There is nothing I liked about this book. I'm even trying to forget about the rape and thinking how I would feel if it had not been in the book...yup, still don't like it.

Goldilocks by Kimberly Zant
Published by New concepts publishing
Why I read this: I needed to read a book by an author with a last name starting with the letter Z.

Goldie’s car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Stranded, lost and in dire need, she stumbles upon the home of the three rednecks, Erryl, Farryll and Daryl Bayer.

Well, the summery is almost right. Even though the guys have red necks names, they are actually described as surfer looking dudes.

Goldi is on her to way to view a house that she may buy when her car breaks down. The brothers are away at a party when Goldi breaks into their home in search of a phone. She uses the toilet, gets drunk drinking three beers, eats a pizza, takes a shower, then falls asleep naked in one of the beds.

The brothers come home and do some fighting with each other when they notice the missing beers and pizza. After they discover naked Goldie, she offers herself to them in payment for breaking in.

Goldilocks gets a D. I seriously think that they released to us the rough copy of this book.
First of all, when Goldi left the brothers house after a night of (boring) sex, she was only wearing a shirt that came down to her knees. Not even a pair of panties.
She went from her car to a gas station, then right to the house she planned to see the day earlier. No one at the gas station, or the realtor seems to notice that Goldi is nearly naked.
There were several extra words all throughout the book. Example,

Ever so carefully, she climbed scooted down the bed and climbed off at the foot.

Goldi also 'shrugged' three times in one paragraph.

This book had just 67 pages (on my ebookwise) It took me only 15 minutes to read. There was no reason to have so many mistakes in it.

Seriously, the super hero stories written by my almost ten year old son have less mistakes in them. I want my money back.

Office Slave, and Office slave 2: El exposed by JW McKenna
Published by Renaissance books
Why I read this: (book 1)I saw Holly's review, so I just had to. (book 2) Because I wanted to read more about El.

The beautiful but haughty Ellen Sanchez thought she could get away with
embezzling from Jack Sawyer, the powerful CEO of Sawyer Metalworking.
When she was caught, she said she’d do “anything” to avoid going to jail.
Anything turned out to be a new position for Ellen: Company slut. Jack began to break her down slowly, using her to win new contracts for his firm and reward employees. After months of pleasing everyone on command, Ellen began to lose her identity until she found she didn’t mind being their “Office Slave.”

Ellen works for Jack as an accountant. Ellen gets caught stealing money. I think it was over 2 hundred grand. Jack is really mad, so he confronts her and then attempts to call the police. Ellen stops him and begs him not to. She says that she will have sex with him in return for not calling the police. He says that having sex with her is not worth such a big amount of money, and she counters with telling him that she will do anything (sexually) anywhere, anytime and anyway he wants. They discuss it for a while and come up with a plan. El gets X amount of money for each blow job and act of intercourse. Money that will be tallied towards what she owes him.

El (her new slut name) gets right to work. They figure it will take around 18 months to pay off her debt. Over this 18 months El has sex with many many people. She is a total slut and is eager to please Jack, her Dom.

Since El is a slut now, a few of her co workers figure that they can just do her when they want to, but Jack steps up and lets everyone know while they may gawk and copafeel, everything else needs to be cleared with him first.

At the end of the 18 months El is told that she has now repaid all that she owes and she is free to go. El begs Jack to let her stay, and he says okay. He builds an apartment for her where she can be available to anyone who wants her.

Alright, I laughed my way through this book. It was just so unbelievable and out there. It gets an B+ for the porn factor and laughs, D for the story.

Continues the best-selling story of Jack Sawyer and his sex slave El. A disgruntled employee turns in Jack and he and El are arrested. But the case doesn't go exactly like the prosecutor expected. Read the surprising developments in this exciting sequel.

Okay, this story was pretty good. Unlike the first book, this one had romance and I like that.

Gloria, a woman who also works for Jack gets all bent out of shape when she finds out that her brother in law is one of the men that El is sleeping with. She goes to the police and totally rats on Jack and El.

Jack and El are arrested for various sexual crimes. Office Slave 2 has El figuring out why she allows herself to be dominated by Jack so easily. She also finds out that not just anyone can push her around. When someone else in a position of power tries to take advantage of her in much the same way that Jack did, she fights back.

Jack and El have a 2 year separation but in the end they end up together. Married, monogamous and trying for a baby.

B-. I'm going to look for more books from this author.

Claiming the courtesan by Anna Campbell

Published by Avon

The Duke of Kylemore knows her as Soraya, London's most celebrated
courtesan. Men fight duels to spend an hour in her company. And only he comes close to taming her. Flying in the face of society, he decides to make her his bride; then, she vanishes, seemingly into thin air. Dire circumstances have forced Verity Ashton to barter her innocence and change her name for the sake of her family. But Kylemore destroys her plans for a respectable life when he discovers her safe haven. He kidnaps her, sweeping her away to his hunting lodge in Scotland, where he vows to bend her to his will. There he seduces her anew. Verity spends night after night with him in his bed . . . and though she still dreams of escape and independence, she knows she can never flee the unexpected, unwelcome love for the proud, powerful lover who claims her both body and soul.

This was very difficult to read.

The 'hero' is a rapist. He flat out raped the Heroine. I heard about this before I read the book, so I had planned on not reading it at all. Then I asked around to a few friends who read it and they said that it was forced seduction. Okay, well I can deal with that. Forced seduction is common in historical novels.

Well, this was not forced seduction at all. It was rape with a capital R.

Even erotica publishers draw the line at rape. They say that forced seduction is fine, but the woman must be willing by the time penetration occurs. In Claiming the courtesan, the heroine was not willing till the third time he did it.
Sickening.

Verity became at whore at 15 so that she would have a way to support her younger brother and sister. Justin, the Duke of Kylemore, wanted her for 6 years, but she chose a different protector instead.
When she finally decided to become his Mistress the contract stated that the relationship would end after 12 months if either party is not happy. After 12 months, she ended it. She didn't tell him, she just took off.

This made the Duke very very angry. He tracked her down and kidnapped her. It was his goal to break her. He was emotionally abuse and mean.

After he rapes her, Verity hates him, but then once she finds out that he had a bad childhood, and now suffers from nightmares, she starts to get all soft about him.

She finds a way to escape, but she falls over a cliff and almost dies. The Duke saves her, and now she is in love with him.
She is totally brainwashed when it comes to him. Her kidnapper does one or two nice things on top of all the bad things, and she feels that she owes him for his kindness. It's classic Stockholm syndrome.
Verity is so mixed up and brainwashed, it's disgusting.

She thinks she loves him, but knows that a Duke cannot marry a whore, and even though he wants her to stay with him, she wants to leave. He lets her go.

He admit to himself that he took her unwilling, and he thinks that letting her go is the best thing he can do to make up for what he has done.

There is a point in the story where Kylmores mother tries to kill Verity, but the Duke rides to the rescue. Like he is some dashing hero or something. It was too long played out, and even though it started off as an exciting scene, it quickly got boring and repetitive.

I kept waiting for Kylemore to redeem himself. Not that you can 'fix' rape, but since this is fiction I expected there was something that he could have done to make it right.

He didn't.

Verity ends up staying with him. She may or may not be pregnant. Since daddy is a rapist, I hope they don't have any female children.

I do not recommend this book to anyone.
The first 2 'love' scenes are very clearly rape. The lines of forced seduction were crossed in a huge way. I feel dirty having just read this book.

Rape, boring, annoying dialogue, I don't believe the love part of the story for one second. I feel nothing but anger over the Hero and Heroine. It's a D book.

Jane's Warlord by Angela Knight
Published by Berkley Sensation
Grade: D

Reporter Jane Colby has seen a lot covering crime for the local paper, but the most recent murder is so brutal, it leaves even the most hardened detectives shaken. Jane and the cops don't know it, but the killer is none other than Jack the Ripper. Turns out all the theories about those Victorian murders were wrong:
Jack is actually a time-traveling cyborg psychopath named Kalig Druas.
Now he's in Tayanita County - and he's set his sights on Jane.
Luckily, so has Baran Arvid, a genetically engineered warrior from the future. Baran and his talking wolf sidekick have been sent to protect her - and use her as bait to
trap the killer. None of this is good news to Jane, but she finds having a
handsome bodyguard does have deliciously erotic benefits. Besides, Frieka the
wolf is a scream.
Unfortunately, so is Jack.

This was very hard to read. I made myself finish it because I really hate having DNF's.

Warlord from the future comes to the present to save Jane from Jack the Ripper. We all know that Jack the Ripper is a killer from the 1800's. In Jane's Warlord, the reason Jack was never caught is because he is a jumpkiller...Someone who jumps from year to year to kill. In the future there is a race of beings who pay the jumpkiller to rape and kill. He records it, and then his subscribers get to watch.

Jumpkiller has been paid to kill Jane. Baran is a warlord who has been sent to protect Jane. Between searching for and also running from the jumpkiller, there is a lot of sex happening. I love a good love scene, however, all but one of them were badly timed and out of place.

Jane has some internal demons when it comes to her dead father. He was a wife and child beater. In the whole book Jane wonders if her mother was killed by her father, or did she really just leave. It as played up so much but the answer never came out.

The author added in this talking wolf who was sarcastic and tried to be funny. The killings that took place in the book were very brutal, and the jumpkiller kept talking about how he was going to rape Jane. I don't know if the author was trying to lighten up the mood or what, but trying to add laughs to the book didn't work.

Unanswered questions, too many things that don't make sense, sex scenes just for the sake of sex makes this a D.

Dark Seduction by Brenda Joyce

Published by HQN

Grade: D+

Malcolm of Dunroch is a newly chosen Master, a novice to his extraordinary--and dangerous--powers. But he has already broken his vows--and a young woman's death is on his hands. Malcolm is determined to fight his darkest desires, denying himself all pleasure…until fate sends him another Innocent, the beautiful bookseller Claire Camden. Since her mother's murder, Claire has done everything
possible to make a safe, secure life for herself in a city where danger lurks on every street corner, especially in the dark of night. But nothing can prepare her for the powerful and sexual medieval warrior who sweeps her back into his time--a treacherous, frightening world where the hunters and the hunted are one and the same. Claire needs Malcolm to survive, yet she must somehow keep the dangerously seductive Master at arm's length. For Malcolm's soul is at stake--and fulfilling his desires could prove fatal….

I had such high hopes for this book. It's Brenda Joyce! I didn't think it was possible for me to read her work and not like it. I guess I was wrong...

Malcolm is a 'Master'. He protects Innocents from evil. It's a tad confusing, but from what I can tell, he kills Deamhanain. Those are beings with power from Satan who can take life easily. One of the ways is to commit 'pleasure crimes'. Thats when they have sex and suck the life from someone while they give multiple orgasms. Masters hunt and kill them.

Claire's mother was killed by Pleasure Crime, and so was one of her cousins.

Malcolm and Claire meet after he arrives at her bookstore in search of an ancient page from a book. She is immediately turned on by him, and since Masters have the power to make a woman fall in lust with them, they end up having sex soon after they meet.

This is a TSTL Heroine. She flies through time with a highlander, and she doesn't faint. She has sex with a stranger less than an hour after meeting him, and she doesn't faint. She finds out that not one, but several men can read her mind, and she doesn't faint. She is told that Satan exists, and she faints! Millions of people believe in God, so why is his counterpart so hard to imagine for her?

Claire is constantly putting herself, and everyone else in danger. Time after time she promises not to do anything rash, and then she goes and opens her mouth or does something stupid.

The amount of times that Claire 'cried' something was distracting.

"Go to hell," she cried
"Take a guess!", she cried
"That is not an answer!", she cried
"Like hell, " She cried
"You are getting ahead of yourself", Claire cried
"I'll clean it," Claire cried

"Then explain it to me," she cried softly
"Royce!" Claire cried
"I know there is a risk!" she cried
Claire cried out, shocked, "What are you saying?"
Claire cried out in protest, "A few hundred years?"
"No!" she cried
"He doesn't lust for me," she cried
"With all my heart!" she cried
"she's summoning you in the middle of the night? For what purpose?" she cried
"Why?" Claire cried
"Do you know who I am?" she cried in disbelief
"Damn it, Fiola," she cried

Thats not even all of them. Every times she cried something I pictured her with wild teary eyes on the verge of a tempter tantrum. It was out of place with most of the conversation she was having.

Claire also kept going on about being a strong, independent 21'st century woman who cannot and will not obey 15'th century rules, yet she acted more like a 4 year old. She made women from her own time look really bad.

I did enjoy the accurate portrayal of customs for the country and century. Some of the secondary characters were really hot.

I am a Brenda Joyce fangirl, and as much as this one let me down, I'll still check out the next in the series. Am I a glutton for punishment? Maybe. My hope is that the next one is a lot better.

The girl with the golden gun by Ann Major
Published by
Grade: D+

Following a tragic plane crash, no one believed that Golden Spurs ranch heiress
Mia Kemble could have survived. And no one is more surprised to find out she's
been languishing in a Mexican prison than loner cowboy Shanghai Knight. Mia's
former lover, Shanghai has fought hard to put the past behind him, and has
finally become as successful as the stuck-up Kembles. So why can't he forget
Mia, or their one night of passion? Suddenly Shanghai knows he needs a plan.
When Shanghai arrives to save the day, Mia can't help but wonder if the wild man
from her past, the man who broke her heart, has finally been tamed. Or whether
he would have come if he knew the truth behind her baby's paternity. But she's
still in jeopardy -- now more than ever. And Shanghai may be the only one who
can help. It isn't over between them. Not even close.

The last time I read a book by this author I hated the Heroine. This time I hated the Hero.
Mia has been chasing after Shanghai her whole life. He is 10 years older than her, so when he was pushing her away when she was a teenager I understood. I don't want to read about a 14 year old and a 24 year old anyway.

When she was in her late 2o's they had sex for the first time. The next day he treated her like crap. As a result of their night together she had gotten pregnant. She tells him about the baby but he calls her a liar and makes her go away.
She ends ends up marrying his brother so that she can give the baby Shanghai's last name. Silly reason for a marriage, but whatever.

Mia is in a plane crash and gets 'rescued' by a drug lord who holds her captive for over a year.

Mia's family begs Shanghai to rescue her, and he does, although unwillingly.
After the rescue Shanghai and Mia have sex a couple times, but as soon as the love making ends he remembers that he is mad at her and pushes her away. Over and over again.

Kidnapper drug lord escapes from prison and threatens to kill Shanghai and Mia. They get married so that Shanghai can be around to protect Mia and their baby. Even though he knows that Mia is head over heels in love with him, he insists that the marriage will only last as long as it takes to capture drug lord.

Shanghai is a jerk, and Mia is a dimwit for staying with him. I have no idea why he was such an ass to her.
She was held captive for over a year and he kept accusing her of having a sexual relationship with her kidnapper. No matter how many times she told him that she was a prisoner, not his lover, Shanghai still bugged her about it.

Shanghai had no reason to treat her so badly. Yeah, her dad was a jerk and he was mean to Shanghai's family. So Mia has to suffer because of her father?

Another thing is that the whole time she was locked away living with the drug lord all she did was think about Shanghai. Um hello, what about your daughter?? When she finally got free and was home did she run and search for the child she hasn't seen in 15 months? No, she did not.

Since I read them so close together, I decided to review these 2 Stephanie Rowe books together. Date me baby one more time

published by Warner books

Grade: B

Justine Bennett is cursing her life. She’s the Guardian of the Goblet of
Eternal
Youth, she hasn’t left the house in ages, and it’s been over 200
years since
she’s had sex. Oh, and the Goblet has shape shifted into an
espresso machine.
Not exactly the stuff grand destiny is made of...
Derek LaValle is worried.
Due to a family curse, he’ll be dead in the
space of a week unless he finds the
Guardian of the Goblet of Eternal Youth
and beheads her. Which wouldn’t be a
problem if she wasn’t so sexy, smart...
and ready to behead him right back.

Cute and funny! Derek believes that if he beheads Justine, and then drinks from the Goblet of Eternal Youth then the curse that is killing the men in his fmaily will be lifted. Justine wont let him kill her or get to the goblet, So, with the help of her mother..an ex-Guardian who is being courted by Satan and her best friend-a cybersex addicted slut stuck in Dragon form, they set out to find a way to lift the curse before Derek's birthday.

I loved Satan the best. He is so outrageously conceited that you can't help but like him. Satan is in love with Justine's mother Iris, and has been trying to get into her pants for 200 years. He takes her on dates, gives her stuff and doesn't seem to care that she shoots him with water to melt him whenever he make she mad.

Must love Dragons

Published by Warner books

Grade: D+

Theresa Nichols is a red-blooded young woman—trapped in a red-hot dragon’s body.
then the chance for a real-live date with her cyber boy toy Zeke sends her
running to Satan to strike a deal. After all, when you've
gone without sex for
over two hundred years, a night of good lovin’ is worth
your eternal soul,
right?
Zeke Siccardi is a private detective trying to
live a normal
life—and outrun his dragon-slaying past. Not easy to do when
his sexy online
paramour turns out to be a dragon with a contract out on her
life. Now Zeke has
to protect a woman he was born to kill. But with the love
of a fire-breathing
sexpot, how hard could it be?

This wasn't even close to being as good as the first one. I found myself skimming the pages, and at the height of my boredom I skipped to the end to read the last few pages, then went back to finish the book. I couldn't stand to make it a DNF after I enjoyed the first one so much.

I liked Theresa a lot more in the first book, when she was in full Dragon form. For some reason, having her human didn't work for me.

Theresa meets her cyber sex boyfriend and finds out that he is a now ex dragon slayer. Some active slayers plus her ex boyfriend are after Theresa so he teaches her how to fight them.

I don't know, this one but it didn't work for me. Satan gave me a few laughs, but I didn't like anything else about the story. Sorry.

Cold as ice, by Anne Stuart
Published by Mira, 2006
Grade: C-/ D+

The job was supposed to be dead easy -- hand-deliver some legal papers
to billionaire philanthropist Harry Van Dorn's extravagant yacht, get his
signature and be done. But Manhattan lawyer Genevieve Spenser soon realizes
she's in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that the publicly benevolent
playboy has a sick, vicious side. As he tries to make her his plaything for the
evening, eager to use and abuse her until he discards her with the rest of his
victims, Genevieve must keep her wits if she intends to survive the
night.

But there's someone else on the ship who knows the true depths of
Van Dorn's evil. Peter Jensen is far more than the unassuming personal assistant
he pretends to be -- he's a secret operative who will stop at nothing to ensure
Harry's deadly Rule of Seven terror campaign dies with him. But Genevieve's
presence has thrown a wrench into his plans, and now he must decide whether to
risk his mission to keep her alive, or allow her to become collateral damage . .

I ordered Cold as ice right after I read this review at Don't talk, just read. I'm afraid that I didn't like it as much as I expected to.

Genevieve is a lawyer who is supposed to get some papers signed by one of her firms clients. Client is a rich good looking pervert terrorist named Harry. Genevieve doesn't know he is really a bad guy. Once aboard his yacht, she is tricked into spending the night, and when she wakes up the next morning she finds out that the yacht has been taken over by Harry's assistant, and that he plans to kill both her and Harry.

Our Hero has many chances to kill Genevieve, but Peter keeps putting it off. Even though he is a stone cold killer he has never had to kill an innocent woman who simply happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Genevieve is an idiot! Halfway through the book I was begging Peter to put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. She is supposed to have graduated from an Ivy league law school but she is TSTL.

I liked Peter at the beginning of the book, but then he kept trying to help Genevieve. Gah! Just let her die. He was also mean. He kept saying cruel things to her. I know he was just covering his own feelings, and trying to make her like him less, but I don't enjoy head games.

Call me a sappy romantic, but I don't like how this romance ended without the Hero telling the Heroine he loves her. That is just wrong wrong wrong.

Double Jeopardy, by Rachel Bo

Published by Ellora's Cave

Grade: D-

About the book:

Kendall Aaronson can't believe the incredible
attraction she feels for two young hunks, Joshua Reed and Sutter Campbell, the
first time they enter her shop. Soon, she finds it's an attraction she can't
resist! As their unique relationship heats up, so does the temper of Sutter's
father. When David Campbell threatens to destroy everything Kendall has come to
cherish, her strength and determination are the only things standing in his
way.

Oh my gosh, I don't even know where to start.

I guess I'll start with what I did like. The Heroine and Heroes have something that they call 'the bond'. They are able to project images and feelings to one another. It's great for them during sex because everything is intensified. I wouldn't mind reading some books that have that type of thing going on.

Now what I didn't like. Oh man.

First of all, the Heroine is fat. Like, fat-fat. Not plump or big boned. Fat. There was talk of lifting her belly. I shit you not.

Then he lifted her belly as well, his soapy fingers stroking the sensitive skin
just below her abdomen and above her bush.

That's not the only time there was belly lifting talk either.

I suppose it's my own fault. This book does have 'rubenesque' in the genre description. I should have Googled the word before I bought the book. Not that it would have done much good, though. I did a search for rubenesque, and everything I have read described the body type like Mae West. Pear shaped, ample breasts, soft-full lips and alluring curves. The Heroine did not come across as having a body like Mae West to me.

Bread sticks, pool cues and spaghetti were used during sex. Ellora's Cave made sure to make a note about the male/male scenes, but where was the 'unusual objects inserted into the vagina' warning?
I can't talk about it. I'm trying to forget.

The Heroine is 10 years older than the guys. I don't like it when the Heroine is older than the Hero, but I can live with it. The problem here was that the age differences were mentioned pretty often. Also, based on the way she spoke to and acted with the guys, it sounded like she was their mother. The only time I didn't get the 'parent' vibe from her was when they were having sex.

Sex. That brings me to my last annoyance. I never thought I would utter these words about this genre, but here I go...

There was too much sex.

There. I said it. I found myself skimming the sex scenes. There was just so much. For a novel I would have liked some more substance.

The book description mentions a problem with the father of one of the Heroes. Well, it wasn't till the end of the book that anything really happened with that. The Heroine, being the mommy figure I guess, took care of it with help from a friend. Not from her husbands. She treated them like babies through out the book.

I have a learned a few lessons. NEVER read a book that has a rubenesque person in it. Don't think that becuase a book has a lot of praise, that it's going to be a good read.

Remember when, by Judith McNaught

Published by Pocket books, April 2006

Grade: D+/C

About the book:

When multinational tycoon Cole Harrison approached
her on a moonlit balcony at the White Orchid Charity Ball, Diana Foster had no
idea how extraordinary the night ahead would be. Foster's Beautiful Living
magazine was her family's success story, and Diana knew that, single, childless,
and suddenly unengaged, she was not living up to its lucrative image of upscale
domestic tranquility. And now the pride of Dallas billionaires, Cole Harrison,
was closing in on her with two crystal flutes and a bottle of champagne...


The tall, lithe former stableboy couldn't negotiate
his way out of a contract with his crusty uncle, Cal - he had to bring home a
wife, and soon, or see Cal's share of the business Cole had created go to an
undeserving relative. A man as coolly analytical as he was arrestingly
attractive, Cole decided that his bride-to-be should be rich in her own right,
meltingly beautiful, and a woman of impeccable character...Diana
Foster!


It was the perfect solution to their respective
dilemmas, and, after a lot of champagne for Diana and some skilled persuasion
from Cole, their lips met in a long, slow, bargain-sealing kiss. Neither one
dared imagine that a match made in logic's heaven might be headed straight for
an unexpected, once-in-a-lifetime love...

Diana used to know Cole when he was the stable boy at her friends ranch. She had a crush on him, but never told him about it. They would talk a lot, and sometimes Cole would want to kiss her, but he never acted on it because not only was he 'the help', but he was also older than her.

About 15 years after she sees him for the last time he comes back to town and he is really rich. Diana is also successful having started a magazine kind like Martha Stewart. Diana has been publicly dumped by her fiance and her perfect world is slowly tilting sideways, because she is becoming forgetful and not paying attention to everyone around her. She is normally Ms. Perfect.

Cole is being forced by his uncle to get married and have babies. If he doesn't do it, then he wont get to stay in charge of the company that he has worked his ass off for. After Cole finds out about Diane, and then sees her at an auction he decides that she woudl be the perfect one to marry. He doesn't parented to be in love with her though. He tells her the truth about his uncle, and after a while she agrees to marrying him.

There are a lot of things I didn't like; 1) I never felt that Cole really loved her. Even at the very end. It didn't feel like a love story.

2) All the business talked bored me. I skipped the pages when it all started up. I tried to stay focused because it was important to the plot of the book, but I didn't understand it.

3)There was a time when they were younger when Cole gave Diana a gift. She seemed to treasure the gift when he gave it to her, plus it was also given to her the last time they saw each other, yet it was never mentioned again. It would have been nice for Cole to walk into her room and see the gift there or something.

4)We never found out Diana's reaction when Cole left the ranch. It was a sudden departure, and I'm sure that Diana would have had a reaction because she visited him so often, and she liked him.

5)I felt nothing for the characters. I didn't care if they laughed, cried or died.

One good thing I have to say is that I did like the first part of the book (when Diana was a teenager) Her relationship with, Corey, her new step-sister was sweet. I bet if the book had been Corey's story, it would have been better.

Kiss of darkness, by Heather Graham

Published by, Mira September 2006

Grade: D

Back cover reads:

The woods have always been full of whispers in
Transylvania, of terrors that go back centuries to the legendary Vlad Dracul
himself. Ignoring their professor's grave warning -- beware those who would prey
upon the innocent -- several visintg students travel into the forest . . . and
disappear. Now their professor, Bryan McAllister, believes that a dark cult is
at work -- and that their next gathering will happen in
America.

When psychologist Jessica Fraser is approached by
Bryan for her assistance, she is hesitant. Something about Bryan unnerves
Jessica deeply, yet she cannot ignore the incredible pull she feels toward him.
Now, as reluctant allies, they unite to seek the truth. The search takes them
from the forested mountains to dimly lit clubs in New Orleans' French Quarter,
where perversion goes beyond sexual to life-threatening.

And everywhere, whispering on the wind, is the
dreaded word . . . vampyr.

Kiss of Darkness was very repetitive. By the 6'th description of the 'red night', 'dark whisper' and the two main characters thinking about how the other is familiar, I was ready to scream.

Jessica and Bryan cross paths after a party in Transylvania when a bunch of people are attacked by Vampires. Jessica is trying to help a set of teens who got away unscathed, as well as one teen girl who was bitten by a Vamp. Bryan is a professor staying at Jessica's house that doubles as a bed & breakfast.

Jess and Bry have like two conversations, they don't trust each other because they can tell the other is lying about something, yet they jump into the sack so fast it made my head spin. Not only was the love scene boring, but I felt like it was added just for the sake of the book having a sex scene. There was zero sexual tension, no chemistry. Nothing that you would expect before the hero and heroine have sex. There was one more love scene and I am just as disappointed with it as I was the first one.

My biggest issue is out of nowhere..more than halfway through the book, we find out that Jessica is a Vampire. A good Vampire. She is trying to stop the big bad ass Vampyr, The Master. Bryan is not a Vampire, but he is a Warrior. A man who spends eternity killing Vampires. They are both after This Master Vampyr guy.

We also find out that the reason Jess and Bry are familiar to each other is because they were lovers almost 400 years ago. She was bitten by The Master, and Bryan was killed trying to save her. Bryan woke up 100 years later and started fighting Vamps. Jessica was turned into a Vampire, but somehow got away from the Master and turned good.

I am left with many questions. Why doesn't garlic, holy water and crosses hurt Jessica when it does other Vampires. How did she meet her Vampire friends. How is it possible that one of her friends used to be a Vampire. How did she get away from The Master?

There are no sweet words of love, no tender heartfelt moments. Not even a good sex scene to save me from tossing Kiss of Darkness into the recycle bin.

Tempting Fortune, By Jo Beverley

Published By Zebra, December 2002

Grade: D

Back cover reads: Portia St Claire's brother has gambled and lost, throwing her into the power of ruthless men. Their price for his life is her virtue, to be auctioned off in London's most notorious brothel. To retrieve an incriminating letter, Bryght Malloren once broke into a house where he was greeted at pistol point by a resolute woman....a woman he could swear stands before him, masked and trembling, on a madam's auction block.....

Unable to leave Portia to such a cruel fate, Bryght turns the private wager into a very public game of seduction, one that confirms his reputation as a shameless rake and keeps all of London society breathless with anticipation. But on a night shimmering with destiny, truth, and passion, those who tempt fortune risk losing everything...including their hearts...

I should have loved this book. When I read the back of it it was just my thing. Dashing hero saves innocent heroine, then a game of seduction starts.

*sigh* The back of the book way over rated. Big time. I can't even tell you much about the book because in my attempt to skip all the boring parts, I missed most of the book.

It wasn't till page 122 before I paid attention to what I was reading. Portia's brother is addicted to gaming, and some thugs come to the door to collect payment. They have no money, so they tell Portia that she can help her brother by selling her virginity at a brothel. The thugs threaten to cut out her brothers eye as payment if she declines. They remind her that it's 'just a little peice of skin'.

At the whore house our hero, Bryght is there. He recognizes Portia and decides that it would be best if he tried to buy her because some of the other men bidding on her are less than worthy. One is rough, the other has the pox, etc. He bid, he wins, but they don't have sex. I think the author was trying to make it interesting by having 20 peep holes in the room, but it just annoyed me. Besides, Portia and Bryght didn't even have sex.

Yada yada, there is some sort of family feud going on with Bryght and Portia's good friend. A man named Fort. I think he is an earl? Who knows. I don't care, really.

Portia is caught with her skirts up with Bryght and they are forced to marry. She doesn't want to, then she wants to. She runs away, she goes back. Yada yada, more boring stuff happens that has nothing to do with anything.

It sucked.

What I liked: n/a

What I did not like: I don't know there was so much nothingness going on. A big attraction to this book is the fact that he saves her, yet the saving doesn't even happen till about page 150. Even the bidding part was boring.

The whole thing with the letter was a wast of time, cause the thing ends up getting burned by the person who wrote it, and no one even cared. It was pointless. It didn't effect the couple at all.

This was all supposed to have place in 1761. I must have flipped back to the front page a hundred time to make sure it really said that. The speech, clothing, social happenings and everything did not tell me late 1700's. I think the author was about a 150 years off on her dates.

Gah! I hate not liking a book. Usually I can find something that I liked. Not this time though. I feel like I lost a day off my life reading this.

The black angel, by Cordia Byers
Ballantine books, June 1993
Grade: D

Ravaged by sea and sun, Brianna McClure lay at death's
door when Roarke O'Connor, captain of the Black Angel, plucked her from a
shipwreck in the pirate-infested waters of the Caribbean.

For that, Brianna knew she owed the
privateer her life. But after one rapturous night together, Brianna felt the
debt paid in full. No one, especially Roarke, must ever learn the truth about
her flight from England -- for she had a man's blood on her hands.

As soon as I read this during one of the love scenes I started laughing so hard that my ribs hurt. Just thinking about it now is making me giggle. When I read something so corny I am usually embarrassed for the author, When I read this I was embarrassed for myself.

"A moan deep in Brianna's throat told him her pain was forgotten and it
was time to take her with him into the land where mystical fires burned the
flesh until it exploded in a burst of ecstasy, making mortal man feel
indomitable, a god of his own domain."

Gah! My eyes, my eyes. That was worse than the cover (almost)Thankfully is was the first and last of that type of description that I came across while reading The black angel.

The book starts off during the funeral for Brianna's mother. Brianna is mourning her mother, and is also fearing for her safety because her step father has the hots for her, and now that her mother is dead, there is no one to protect her from his advances.

After stabbing her step father when he makes a move on her, Brianna and her maid board a ship and flee as fast as they can. They sail into a storm, the ship sinks and Brianna & her maid survive for 2 days alone at sea on a make shift raft.

Roarke and his crew rescue the women and Roarke is a big jerk at first. He makes comments about how ugly Brianna is. (Her face is all red and blistered because of the sun) He lets her stay in his room for a few weeks while they sail, and he sleeps in a hammock on the other side of the room. Brianna checks him out a lot and starts to have feelings for him, but he can't see past the sun damage on her face and pretty much ignores her.

Nick, the first mate, sees the pretty girl under the peeling skin, and sets out to make her his mistress. He giver her a drink that has herbs in it. In this day and age we call that the date rape drug. Nick orders a bath for Brianna, and she eagerly takes it. She washed her body clean after being at sea for week. She soaps her hair, wipes away all the dead skin on her face and then rises out of the bath water like some water Goddess. She is still under the effects of the drug and is eager to lose her virginity. Nick starts to kiss her and stuff, but then he gets turned off after she calls him Roarke. She has the hots for the captain you see. Just as Nick is deciding that this isn't such a good idea, Roarke bursts through the door. Having sex with a drugged women is no better than rape, and Roarke is very clear on this subject. As a young boy he saw his mother violated. So anyway, even though Roarke isn't interested in Brianna, he kicks Nick out of the room. Brianna throws herself at him, and he wants to leave, but he feels that he must stay and protect her from herself or else she will bed every man staying at the inn. Yep, the drug is that strong. After giving Nick shit for wanting to have sex with Brianna while she drugged and then trying to talk himself out of bedding her, he goes and has sex with her anyway.

Next comes the morning after. Brianna is ashamed and mad. Roarke is disgusted and mad. Brianna wants to leave, but Roarke wont let her. He feels that since he had sex with her while she drugged, and he took her virginity he owes her or something. He takes her to his house and expects her to stay there with him and his mistress. Mistress is a whore he rescued off the streets. I forget her name, but she hates Brianna. She wants to get rid of her, and when Brianna asks her for help in getting a job, the mistress/whore decides that it would be best to get rid of Brianna for good. SHe makes plans for Brianna to be sold onto the slave market. (big surprise there)

Roarke and Brianna have sex again, and thats when Brianne decides she is in love with Roarke. After they do it, Roarke tell her that while he goes back out to sea she can live in his house. SHe is offended by his offer and stalks off.

Meanwhile, mistress/whore tells Brianna that she might have a job as a governess, she just needs to meet the widowed father. They set out on this job interview late at night, and Brianna is such a stupid dimwit that she doesn't see that she is walking right into a trap. She is forced onto a ship with a cruel captain who plans to sell her to a brothel or something.

The next morning Roarke searches for Brianna and after drilling his mistress/whore he finds out what happens. Then the dummy sails on after her so that he can rescue her.

Oh gawd. So predictable.

He catches up with her, he saves her, they have sex some more, yada yada, blah blah.
SHe finally tells him that she loves him. He is thrilled to hear it, but he wont say it back to her. They dock for a while and he plans to leave her behind while he sets sail again. She sneaks back on the ship and after he finds out, he locks her away for 2 months. The ship is attacked, he almost dies, she nurses him back to life, he admits he loves her, then asks her to marry him.

Funny thing is that while reading it, I liked the book, but then when I started writing this review I had nothing but negative things to say. I hate it when that happens.